WHO IS THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN?

As I was in my daily study, I was surprised to be finding myself in an in-depth study of Song of Solomon... How the story plays out of King Solomon meeting, courting and marrying the un-named woman of Song of Solomon...

At first, I was guessing that the woman of Song of Solomon was Naamah, Rehoboam's mother who is part of the genealogy of Jesus, (1 Kings 14:21, Matthew 1:7).

Another possibility was that the woman of Song of Solomon was Queen of Sheba, since Queen of Sheba was from modern day Ethiopia. The woman in Song of Solomon 1:5 says that she is black, or rather a dark brown since the sun shining on her tanned her as she worked in the vineyard. The Queen of Sheba theory is actually quite popular, because of the Solomon movie as well as the origination of the theory from Alphabet of Ben Sira and even Islam.

Both guesses... Were proven wrong. Praise the Lord!

Song of Solomon 6:13 ~ "Return, return, O Shulamite; return, return, that we may look upon thee. What will ye see in the Shulamite? As it were the company of two armies."

The woman of Song of Solomon is a Shulamite... Not from Sheba... And not from Ammon as Naamah was from.

Who was a Shulamite in this time? Abishag.

1 Kings 1:1-4 ~ "1 Now king David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with clothes, but he gat no heat. 2 Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat. 3 So they sought for a fair damsel throughout all the coasts of Israel, and found Abishag a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 And the damsel was very fair, and cherished the king, and ministered to him: but the king knew her not."

For those wondering, a Shunammite and a Shulamite are the same coming from the same village of Shunem, located in the tribe of Issachar, to the north of Jezreel and south of Mount Gilboa. Thought to believe to be the modern town of Sulam.

1 Kings 2:10-24 ~ "10 So David slept with his fathers, and was buried in the city of David. 11 And the days that David reigned over Israel were forty years: seven years reigned he in Hebron, and thirty and three years reigned he in Jerusalem. 12 Then sat Solomon upon the throne of David his father; and his kingdom was established greatly. 13 And Adonijah the son of Haggith came to Bathsheba the mother of Solomon. And she said, Comest thou peaceably? And he said, Peaceably. 14 He said moreover, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And she said, Say on.

15 And he said, Thou knowest that the kingdom was mine, and that all Israel set their faces on me, that I should reign: howbeit the kingdom is turned about, and is become my brother's: for it was his from the Lord. 16 And now I ask one petition of thee, deny me not. And she said unto him, Say on. 17 And he said, Speak, I pray thee, unto Solomon the king, (for he will not say thee nay,) that he give me Abishag the Shunammite to wife.18 And Bathsheba said, Well; I will speak for thee unto the king. 19 Bathsheba therefore went unto king Solomon, to speak unto him for Adonijah. And the king rose up to meet her, and bowed himself unto her, and sat down on his throne, and caused a seat to be set for the king's mother; and she sat on his right hand. 20 Then she said, I desire one small petition of thee; I pray thee, say me not nay. And the king said unto her, Ask on, my mother: for I will not say thee nay.

21 And she said, Let Abishag the Shunammite be given to Adonijah thy brother to wife. 22 And king Solomon answered and said unto his mother, And why dost thou ask Abishag the Shunammite for Adonijah? ask for him the kingdom also; for he is mine elder brother; even for him, and for Abiathar the priest, and for Joab the son of Zeruiah. 23 Then king Solomon sware by the Lord, saying, God do so to me, and more also, if Adonijah have not spoken this word against his own life. 24 Now therefore, as the Lord liveth, which hath established me, and set me on the throne of David my father, and who hath made me an house, as he promised, Adonijah shall be put to death this day."

Abishag was David's servant while David was on his deathbed, once the king died, I believe she started working in the gardens/the vineyards where Solomon and her meet again in Song of Solomon.

Shunamitism is the practice of an old man sleeping with, but not necessarily having sex with, a young virgin to preserve his youth. The rationale was that the heat and moisture of the young woman would transfer to the old man and revitalize him as well as keep him warm. Among scientific physicians, both Thomas Sydenham (17th century) and Herman Boerhaave (18th century) prescribed shunamitism for their patients.

Now let us turn to Proverbs 31… Who is the Proverbs 31 woman?

Proverbs 31:1 ~ “The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.”

The first question to ask is, "Who is King Lemuel?" He is mentioned nowhere else in Scriptures besides Proverbs 31, he is not a recorded king of Israel anywhere else.

Strong’s Lexicon… H3927

1.) The name of an unknown king to whom his mother addressed the prudential maxims contained in some of the Proverbs
2.) Might be same as king Solomon

Solomon after all is the one who wrote Proverbs so it is wise to conclude that he is King Lemuel and his mother who is teaching him who to wife is Bathsheba. Of course Bathsheba would want Solomon to marry a Hebrew woman, herself being Hebrew, and Abishag the Shunammite was a Hebrew woman.

Proverbs 31:10-31 ~ "10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard."

A vineyard? Just like in Song of Solomon where she worked in the vineyards after King David’s death.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

Silk and purple being clothing of royalty. Her husband known in the gates because he is the king.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."

Verse 29 compared with…

Song of Solomon 6:9 ~ "My dove, my undefiled is but one; she is the only one of her mother, she is the choice one of her that bare her. The daughters saw her, and blessed her; yea, the queens and the concubines, and they praised her."

The many daughters in Proverbs 31:29 are Solomon’s queens and concubines just as in Song of Solomon 6:9. Abishag blessed by these other women because she is the fairest.

So the conclusion, Abishag is the Proverbs 31 woman and the woman in Song of Solomon.

Be blessed & stay sanctified, 

SEEKING A SPOUSE......

Should a woman pursue a man? Is a woman pursuing a man a meek and discreet thing to do? Let's look into the Scriptures...

Among the different roles assigned to men and women in the Bible, men are assigned the role of leadership in the church and home so why shouldn't the man lead the woman into courtship? It is the creation order that the man was first formed, that he is the leader/guide of the woman. Why should he not be the one to initiate a relationship? Allowing his woman of interest to remain in her role of being discreet, (Genesis 2, 1 Corinthians 11:7-9, Ephesians 5).

The man is to approach the woman, her father/guardian out of respect if he may court the man's daughter. We see this example Biblically...

God gave Eve to Adam. (Genesis 2)

Bethuel gave Rebekah to Isaac. (Genesis 24)

Laban gave Leah and Rachel to Jacob. (Genesis 29)

Pharaoh gave Asenath to Joseph. (Genesis 41:45)

Reuel gave Zipporah to Moses. (Exodus 2:21)

Naomi gave Ruth to Boaz. (Ruth 3:1-5)

Ruth is sometimes used as an example where Ruth pursued after Boaz, but Naomi told Ruth to go to Boaz because he was a kin and by the law Boaz was to take Ruth.

Proverbs 18:22 ~ "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD."

The man is to find a wife... He is to pursue/initiate so the woman can stay in her God-ordained role of being discreet, a meek and quiet spirit as well as under her father's headship. Let the man speak, let the man ask for he will be your leader. Allow God to lead him to pursue you so your future husband can lead you into your marriage.

As well to add to this topic I must clearly state how as Christians we are commanded to not initiate or accept a relationship with a non-believer. Even though in the context of the chapter it is not talking about marriage, but all relationships such as friendships.

2 Corinthians 6:14 ~ "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

Now to more specific Scripture on the matter...

Deuteronomy 7:3 ~ "Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son."

Obviously this wasn't for racist reasons, (see my article on Racism) but for reasons of the believing spouse putting a stumbling-block before themselves by marrying a non-believer that worship idols and influences the believer to worship such idols/partaking in sin.

1 Corinthians 7:39 ~ "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord."

A woman can marry who she wants as long as he is in the Lord. Conditions. As a woman is to have headship that submits himself under Christ. Even a woman entering into a new relationship with someone that is a lukewarm believer lacking maturity, I would advice going slow with caution especially for women as it is harder for a woman to convict a man while staying in Biblical order, (1 Peter 3).

Do not let love blind you or fear of hurting the person, because furthering things longer will only bring more hurt as feelings kindle. You have to honestly consider if the lukewarm believer has an open heart to the narrow road or a hard heart. As for non-believers, do not even date until sincere conversion. Some may even lie about converting, or kindle hopes that they may convert if you will date them. Do not be fooled. Missionary dating can be dangerous so go very slow to be sure to guard your heart and purity before the Lord.

A man I would give the same advice, even though a righteous man can lead her to the narrow road by teaching and washing her in the word, (Ephesians 5:26). He as well cannot let love or lust blind him. He must be cautious to not be seduced by a lukewarm woman who will dig her heels in when it comes to applying submission in the marriage. There are many Delilah-like women out there that have evil spirits seeking to tear down a man of God.

Proverbs 6:26-27 ~ "26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. 27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?"

Proverbs 12:4 ~ "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."

Proverbs 19:13 ~ "A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping."

Proverbs 30:20 ~ "Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness."

Keep it holy, follow the Bible and seek courtship. So until next time...

Be blessed & stay sanctified,

GODLY JEALOUSY & KINDLED HEARTS......

I've come to a revelation, my husband always made this point, that I always seen as kind of extreme or silly, but over time the Lord has confirmed it to me as I have prayed about it and I’ve finally sat down to write about it. I am so thankful for my husband as my headship. 

Obviously, I already agree that a woman should never counsel a man, but my husband has shown me that a man shouldn't counsel a woman either. Now let me clarify... We have to have a man as the head of the church; a bishop/a pastor/a shepherd...

1 Timothy 3:1-5 ~ "1 This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; 4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; 5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)"

Paul says that a pastor has to be the husband of one wife because a pastor will be in a situation where a woman needs counsel. However, some great men of God are single, widowed or divorced because of a rebellious wife that refused to submit when her husband came to the Lord. 

Sadly, as my husband points out when a pastor counsels a woman one-on-one, feelings from either gender can possibly develop, so why it is not wise to have opposite genders being counseled one-on-one alone. It should be a group setting, other church elders present. This is for safety. This is wisdom. 

1 Corinthians 14:35 ~ "And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."

When a pastor counsels a woman, he should have her ask her husband first. And if a woman is seeking counsel from her pastor because of her husband is unable to give an answer, her husband should ask the pastor on her behalf or at least have her husband present when she asks her pastor. There shouldn’t be one-on-one counsel between a woman and a man. 

1 Thessalonians 5:22 ~ "Abstain from all appearance of evil."

This is because to have no stumbling blocks, no love kindled, even if accidental or non-intentional. A woman is not to awaken love in a man's heart with no intention of loving him or establishing a relationship. Song of Solomon 8:4.

Same goes for a man, a man is not to awaken love in a woman's heart with no intention of loving her or establishing a relationship. Awakening love in another's heart is easy, and why it is to be avoided with all costs. Why a single man and single woman shouldn't talk one-one-one unless it is with intention of a relationship, which is to be made clear to one another of being exclusive and going through the courting process. 

Of course a married woman and a married man shouldn't talk one-on-one without each of their own partners present, the husband of the woman, and the wife of the man should always be present. In a marriage, each partner should know where the other is at all times. A man should not be counseling a woman one-on-one, it should be with his wife present and if he is single it should be in the presence of an assistant pastor or elder woman of the church. 

Titus 2:3-5 ~ "3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

Women teach women, men teach men. The pastor being public with other trusted elders when counseling a woman so that no love is kindled and no appearance of evil is given. Leaving no room for the enemy to bring anyone astray in lust or hurt. 

I thank my husband for teaching me this, as well as fellow righteous brothers and sisters who furthered the conviction because of asking me to add their spouse as a friend on social media, brothers and sisters that message me with their spouse's in the conversation. I apply this conviction, if you are a brother and I message you, my husband is in the conversation with us, so please don’t mind and understand why. I am truly convicted this is Godly order; we must always go the extra mile for holiness. 

It’s not that, “Oh my spouse trusts me in a conversation alone with the opposite gender.” It’s not about that, I trust my husband and my husband trusts me… This is about establishing respect and involvement, not acting as individuals, but acting as one flesh. The husband as the head and the woman as the body is Biblical order.

We need to understand that there is godly jealousy and ungodly jealousy. Ungodly jealousy crosses the line into paranoid-possessiveness of irrational fear, which neither my husband nor I have. To point out Numbers 5:14, nonetheless we must prove our innocence to our partner, but may we never have to have our partner question our faithfulness. In a healthy marriage, neither partner has to question the other's faithfulness. As my husband and I trust each other and have confidence with one another. My husband is from the Philippines where this order of communication etiquette has not yet been lost like it has here in 21st Century America. As Christians, may we bring back this moral standard. 

Even our God is a jealous God...

Exodus 34:14 ~ "For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:"

2 Corinthians 11:2 ~ "For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ."

Protecting our marriage from any evil that tries to put it asunder because there are sexually immoral people out there that will try to be house-wreckers. Guard your marriage from physical, emotional and spiritual wickedness. And guard your purity if you are a single brother or sister. The Lord will bless you this much more if you go the extra mile.

Be blessed & stay sanctified,