Should a woman pursue a man? Is a woman pursuing a man a meek and discreet thing to do? Let's look into the Scriptures...
Among the different roles assigned to men and women in the Bible, men are assigned the role of leadership in the church and home so why shouldn't the man lead the woman into courtship? It is the creation order that the man was first formed, that he is the leader/guide of the woman. Why should he not be the one to initiate a relationship? Allowing his woman of interest to remain in her role of being discreet, (Genesis 2, 1 Corinthians 11:7-9, Ephesians 5).
The man is to approach the woman, her father/guardian out of respect if he may court the man's daughter. We see this example Biblically...
God gave Eve to Adam. (Genesis 2)
Bethuel gave Rebekah to Isaac. (Genesis 24)
Laban gave Leah and Rachel to Jacob. (Genesis 29)
Pharaoh gave Asenath to Joseph. (Genesis 41:45)
Reuel gave Zipporah to Moses. (Exodus 2:21)
Naomi gave Ruth to Boaz. (Ruth 3:1-5)
Ruth is sometimes used as an example where Ruth pursued after Boaz, but Naomi told Ruth to go to Boaz because he was a kin and by the law Boaz was to take Ruth.
Proverbs 18:22 ~ "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD."
The man is to find a wife... He is to pursue/initiate so the woman can stay in her God-ordained role of being discreet, a meek and quiet spirit as well as under her father's headship. Let the man speak, let the man ask for he will be your leader. Allow God to lead him to pursue you so your future husband can lead you into your marriage.
As well to add to this topic I must clearly state how as Christians we are commanded to not initiate or accept a relationship with a non-believer. Even though in the context of the chapter it is not talking about marriage, but all relationships such as friendships.
2 Corinthians 6:14 ~ "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"
Now to more specific Scripture on the matter...
Deuteronomy 7:3 ~ "Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son."
Obviously this wasn't for racist reasons, (see my article on Racism) but for reasons of the believing spouse putting a stumbling-block before themselves by marrying a non-believer that worship idols and influences the believer to worship such idols/partaking in sin.
1 Corinthians 7:39 ~ "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord."
A woman can marry who she wants as long as he is in the Lord. Conditions. As a woman is to have headship that submits himself under Christ. Even a woman entering into a new relationship with someone that is a lukewarm believer lacking maturity, I would advice going slow with caution especially for women as it is harder for a woman to convict a man while staying in Biblical order, (1 Peter 3).
Do not let love blind you or fear of hurting the person, because furthering things longer will only bring more hurt as feelings kindle. You have to honestly consider if the lukewarm believer has an open heart to the narrow road or a hard heart. As for non-believers, do not even date until sincere conversion. Some may even lie about converting, or kindle hopes that they may convert if you will date them. Do not be fooled. Missionary dating can be dangerous so go very slow to be sure to guard your heart and purity before the Lord.
A man I would give the same advice, even though a righteous man can lead her to the narrow road by teaching and washing her in the word, (Ephesians 5:26). He as well cannot let love or lust blind him. He must be cautious to not be seduced by a lukewarm woman who will dig her heels in when it comes to applying submission in the marriage. There are many Delilah-like women out there that have evil spirits seeking to tear down a man of God.
Proverbs 6:26-27 ~ "26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. 27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?"
Proverbs 12:4 ~ "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."
Proverbs 19:13 ~ "A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping."
Proverbs 30:20 ~ "Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness."
Keep it holy, follow the Bible and seek courtship. So until next time...
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
Among the different roles assigned to men and women in the Bible, men are assigned the role of leadership in the church and home so why shouldn't the man lead the woman into courtship? It is the creation order that the man was first formed, that he is the leader/guide of the woman. Why should he not be the one to initiate a relationship? Allowing his woman of interest to remain in her role of being discreet, (Genesis 2, 1 Corinthians 11:7-9, Ephesians 5).
The man is to approach the woman, her father/guardian out of respect if he may court the man's daughter. We see this example Biblically...
God gave Eve to Adam. (Genesis 2)
Bethuel gave Rebekah to Isaac. (Genesis 24)
Laban gave Leah and Rachel to Jacob. (Genesis 29)
Pharaoh gave Asenath to Joseph. (Genesis 41:45)
Reuel gave Zipporah to Moses. (Exodus 2:21)
Naomi gave Ruth to Boaz. (Ruth 3:1-5)
Ruth is sometimes used as an example where Ruth pursued after Boaz, but Naomi told Ruth to go to Boaz because he was a kin and by the law Boaz was to take Ruth.
Proverbs 18:22 ~ "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD."
The man is to find a wife... He is to pursue/initiate so the woman can stay in her God-ordained role of being discreet, a meek and quiet spirit as well as under her father's headship. Let the man speak, let the man ask for he will be your leader. Allow God to lead him to pursue you so your future husband can lead you into your marriage.
As well to add to this topic I must clearly state how as Christians we are commanded to not initiate or accept a relationship with a non-believer. Even though in the context of the chapter it is not talking about marriage, but all relationships such as friendships.
2 Corinthians 6:14 ~ "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"
Now to more specific Scripture on the matter...
Deuteronomy 7:3 ~ "Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son."
Obviously this wasn't for racist reasons, (see my article on Racism) but for reasons of the believing spouse putting a stumbling-block before themselves by marrying a non-believer that worship idols and influences the believer to worship such idols/partaking in sin.
1 Corinthians 7:39 ~ "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord."
A woman can marry who she wants as long as he is in the Lord. Conditions. As a woman is to have headship that submits himself under Christ. Even a woman entering into a new relationship with someone that is a lukewarm believer lacking maturity, I would advice going slow with caution especially for women as it is harder for a woman to convict a man while staying in Biblical order, (1 Peter 3).
Do not let love blind you or fear of hurting the person, because furthering things longer will only bring more hurt as feelings kindle. You have to honestly consider if the lukewarm believer has an open heart to the narrow road or a hard heart. As for non-believers, do not even date until sincere conversion. Some may even lie about converting, or kindle hopes that they may convert if you will date them. Do not be fooled. Missionary dating can be dangerous so go very slow to be sure to guard your heart and purity before the Lord.
A man I would give the same advice, even though a righteous man can lead her to the narrow road by teaching and washing her in the word, (Ephesians 5:26). He as well cannot let love or lust blind him. He must be cautious to not be seduced by a lukewarm woman who will dig her heels in when it comes to applying submission in the marriage. There are many Delilah-like women out there that have evil spirits seeking to tear down a man of God.
Proverbs 6:26-27 ~ "26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. 27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?"
Proverbs 12:4 ~ "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."
Proverbs 19:13 ~ "A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping."
Proverbs 30:20 ~ "Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness."
Keep it holy, follow the Bible and seek courtship. So until next time...
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
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