September 27, 2017
August 01, 2017
WHO IS THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN?
As I was in my daily study, I was surprised to be finding myself in an in-depth study of Song of Solomon... How the story plays out of King Solomon meeting, courting and marrying the un-named woman of Song of Solomon...
At first, I was guessing that the woman of Song of Solomon was Naamah, Rehoboam's mother who is part of the genealogy of Jesus, (1 Kings 14:21, Matthew 1:7).
Another possibility was that the woman of Song of Solomon was Queen of Sheba, since Queen of Sheba was from modern day Ethiopia. The woman in Song of Solomon 1:5 says that she is black, or rather a dark brown since the sun shining on her tanned her as she worked in the vineyard. The Queen of Sheba theory is actually quite popular, because of the Solomon movie as well as the origination of the theory from Alphabet of Ben Sira and even Islam.
Both guesses... Were proven wrong. Praise the Lord!
Song of Solomon 6:13 ~ "Return, return, O Shulamite; return, return, that we may look upon thee. What will ye see in the Shulamite? As it were the company of two armies."
The woman of Song of Solomon is a Shulamite... Not from Sheba... And not from Ammon as Naamah was from.
Who was a Shulamite in this time? Abishag.
1 Kings 1:1-4 ~ "1 Now king David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with clothes, but he gat no heat. 2 Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat. 3 So they sought for a fair damsel throughout all the coasts of Israel, and found Abishag a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 And the damsel was very fair, and cherished the king, and ministered to him: but the king knew her not."
For those wondering, a Shunammite and a Shulamite are the same coming from the same village of Shunem, located in the tribe of Issachar, to the north of Jezreel and south of Mount Gilboa. Thought to believe to be the modern town of Sulam.
1 Kings 2:10-24 ~ "10 So David slept with his fathers, and was buried in the city of David. 11 And the days that David reigned over Israel were forty years: seven years reigned he in Hebron, and thirty and three years reigned he in Jerusalem. 12 Then sat Solomon upon the throne of David his father; and his kingdom was established greatly. 13 And Adonijah the son of Haggith came to Bathsheba the mother of Solomon. And she said, Comest thou peaceably? And he said, Peaceably. 14 He said moreover, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And she said, Say on.
15 And he said, Thou knowest that the kingdom was mine, and that all Israel set their faces on me, that I should reign: howbeit the kingdom is turned about, and is become my brother's: for it was his from the Lord. 16 And now I ask one petition of thee, deny me not. And she said unto him, Say on. 17 And he said, Speak, I pray thee, unto Solomon the king, (for he will not say thee nay,) that he give me Abishag the Shunammite to wife.18 And Bathsheba said, Well; I will speak for thee unto the king. 19 Bathsheba therefore went unto king Solomon, to speak unto him for Adonijah. And the king rose up to meet her, and bowed himself unto her, and sat down on his throne, and caused a seat to be set for the king's mother; and she sat on his right hand. 20 Then she said, I desire one small petition of thee; I pray thee, say me not nay. And the king said unto her, Ask on, my mother: for I will not say thee nay.
21 And she said, Let Abishag the Shunammite be given to Adonijah thy brother to wife. 22 And king Solomon answered and said unto his mother, And why dost thou ask Abishag the Shunammite for Adonijah? ask for him the kingdom also; for he is mine elder brother; even for him, and for Abiathar the priest, and for Joab the son of Zeruiah. 23 Then king Solomon sware by the Lord, saying, God do so to me, and more also, if Adonijah have not spoken this word against his own life. 24 Now therefore, as the Lord liveth, which hath established me, and set me on the throne of David my father, and who hath made me an house, as he promised, Adonijah shall be put to death this day."
Abishag was David's servant while David was on his deathbed, once the king died, I believe she started working in the gardens/the vineyards where Solomon and her meet again in Song of Solomon.
Shunamitism is the practice of an old man sleeping with, but not necessarily having sex with, a young virgin to preserve his youth. The rationale was that the heat and moisture of the young woman would transfer to the old man and revitalize him as well as keep him warm. Among scientific physicians, both Thomas Sydenham (17th century) and Herman Boerhaave (18th century) prescribed shunamitism for their patients.
Now let us turn to Proverbs 31… Who is the Proverbs 31 woman?
Proverbs 31:1 ~ “The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.”
The first question to ask is, "Who is King Lemuel?" He is mentioned nowhere else in Scriptures besides Proverbs 31, he is not a recorded king of Israel anywhere else.
Strong’s Lexicon… H3927
1.) The name of an unknown king to whom his mother addressed the prudential maxims contained in some of the Proverbs
2.) Might be same as king Solomon
Solomon after all is the one who wrote Proverbs so it is wise to conclude that he is King Lemuel and his mother who is teaching him who to wife is Bathsheba. Of course Bathsheba would want Solomon to marry a Hebrew woman, herself being Hebrew, and Abishag the Shunammite was a Hebrew woman.
Proverbs 31:10-31 ~ "10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard."
A vineyard? Just like in Song of Solomon where she worked in the vineyards after King David’s death.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
Silk and purple being clothing of royalty. Her husband known in the gates because he is the king.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."
Verse 29 compared with…
Song of Solomon 6:9 ~ "My dove, my undefiled is but one; she is the only one of her mother, she is the choice one of her that bare her. The daughters saw her, and blessed her; yea, the queens and the concubines, and they praised her."
The many daughters in Proverbs 31:29 are Solomon’s queens and concubines just as in Song of Solomon 6:9. Abishag blessed by these other women because she is the fairest.
So the conclusion, Abishag is the Proverbs 31 woman and the woman in Song of Solomon.
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
At first, I was guessing that the woman of Song of Solomon was Naamah, Rehoboam's mother who is part of the genealogy of Jesus, (1 Kings 14:21, Matthew 1:7).
Another possibility was that the woman of Song of Solomon was Queen of Sheba, since Queen of Sheba was from modern day Ethiopia. The woman in Song of Solomon 1:5 says that she is black, or rather a dark brown since the sun shining on her tanned her as she worked in the vineyard. The Queen of Sheba theory is actually quite popular, because of the Solomon movie as well as the origination of the theory from Alphabet of Ben Sira and even Islam.
Both guesses... Were proven wrong. Praise the Lord!
Song of Solomon 6:13 ~ "Return, return, O Shulamite; return, return, that we may look upon thee. What will ye see in the Shulamite? As it were the company of two armies."
The woman of Song of Solomon is a Shulamite... Not from Sheba... And not from Ammon as Naamah was from.
Who was a Shulamite in this time? Abishag.
1 Kings 1:1-4 ~ "1 Now king David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with clothes, but he gat no heat. 2 Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat. 3 So they sought for a fair damsel throughout all the coasts of Israel, and found Abishag a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 And the damsel was very fair, and cherished the king, and ministered to him: but the king knew her not."
For those wondering, a Shunammite and a Shulamite are the same coming from the same village of Shunem, located in the tribe of Issachar, to the north of Jezreel and south of Mount Gilboa. Thought to believe to be the modern town of Sulam.
1 Kings 2:10-24 ~ "10 So David slept with his fathers, and was buried in the city of David. 11 And the days that David reigned over Israel were forty years: seven years reigned he in Hebron, and thirty and three years reigned he in Jerusalem. 12 Then sat Solomon upon the throne of David his father; and his kingdom was established greatly. 13 And Adonijah the son of Haggith came to Bathsheba the mother of Solomon. And she said, Comest thou peaceably? And he said, Peaceably. 14 He said moreover, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And she said, Say on.
15 And he said, Thou knowest that the kingdom was mine, and that all Israel set their faces on me, that I should reign: howbeit the kingdom is turned about, and is become my brother's: for it was his from the Lord. 16 And now I ask one petition of thee, deny me not. And she said unto him, Say on. 17 And he said, Speak, I pray thee, unto Solomon the king, (for he will not say thee nay,) that he give me Abishag the Shunammite to wife.18 And Bathsheba said, Well; I will speak for thee unto the king. 19 Bathsheba therefore went unto king Solomon, to speak unto him for Adonijah. And the king rose up to meet her, and bowed himself unto her, and sat down on his throne, and caused a seat to be set for the king's mother; and she sat on his right hand. 20 Then she said, I desire one small petition of thee; I pray thee, say me not nay. And the king said unto her, Ask on, my mother: for I will not say thee nay.
21 And she said, Let Abishag the Shunammite be given to Adonijah thy brother to wife. 22 And king Solomon answered and said unto his mother, And why dost thou ask Abishag the Shunammite for Adonijah? ask for him the kingdom also; for he is mine elder brother; even for him, and for Abiathar the priest, and for Joab the son of Zeruiah. 23 Then king Solomon sware by the Lord, saying, God do so to me, and more also, if Adonijah have not spoken this word against his own life. 24 Now therefore, as the Lord liveth, which hath established me, and set me on the throne of David my father, and who hath made me an house, as he promised, Adonijah shall be put to death this day."
Abishag was David's servant while David was on his deathbed, once the king died, I believe she started working in the gardens/the vineyards where Solomon and her meet again in Song of Solomon.
Shunamitism is the practice of an old man sleeping with, but not necessarily having sex with, a young virgin to preserve his youth. The rationale was that the heat and moisture of the young woman would transfer to the old man and revitalize him as well as keep him warm. Among scientific physicians, both Thomas Sydenham (17th century) and Herman Boerhaave (18th century) prescribed shunamitism for their patients.
Now let us turn to Proverbs 31… Who is the Proverbs 31 woman?
Proverbs 31:1 ~ “The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.”
The first question to ask is, "Who is King Lemuel?" He is mentioned nowhere else in Scriptures besides Proverbs 31, he is not a recorded king of Israel anywhere else.
Strong’s Lexicon… H3927
1.) The name of an unknown king to whom his mother addressed the prudential maxims contained in some of the Proverbs
2.) Might be same as king Solomon
Solomon after all is the one who wrote Proverbs so it is wise to conclude that he is King Lemuel and his mother who is teaching him who to wife is Bathsheba. Of course Bathsheba would want Solomon to marry a Hebrew woman, herself being Hebrew, and Abishag the Shunammite was a Hebrew woman.
Proverbs 31:10-31 ~ "10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard."
A vineyard? Just like in Song of Solomon where she worked in the vineyards after King David’s death.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
Silk and purple being clothing of royalty. Her husband known in the gates because he is the king.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."
Verse 29 compared with…
Song of Solomon 6:9 ~ "My dove, my undefiled is but one; she is the only one of her mother, she is the choice one of her that bare her. The daughters saw her, and blessed her; yea, the queens and the concubines, and they praised her."
The many daughters in Proverbs 31:29 are Solomon’s queens and concubines just as in Song of Solomon 6:9. Abishag blessed by these other women because she is the fairest.
So the conclusion, Abishag is the Proverbs 31 woman and the woman in Song of Solomon.
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
SEEKING A SPOUSE......
Should a woman pursue a man? Is a woman pursuing a man a meek and discreet thing to do? Let's look into the Scriptures...
Among the different roles assigned to men and women in the Bible, men are assigned the role of leadership in the church and home so why shouldn't the man lead the woman into courtship? It is the creation order that the man was first formed, that he is the leader/guide of the woman. Why should he not be the one to initiate a relationship? Allowing his woman of interest to remain in her role of being discreet, (Genesis 2, 1 Corinthians 11:7-9, Ephesians 5).
The man is to approach the woman, her father/guardian out of respect if he may court the man's daughter. We see this example Biblically...
God gave Eve to Adam. (Genesis 2)
Bethuel gave Rebekah to Isaac. (Genesis 24)
Laban gave Leah and Rachel to Jacob. (Genesis 29)
Pharaoh gave Asenath to Joseph. (Genesis 41:45)
Reuel gave Zipporah to Moses. (Exodus 2:21)
Naomi gave Ruth to Boaz. (Ruth 3:1-5)
Ruth is sometimes used as an example where Ruth pursued after Boaz, but Naomi told Ruth to go to Boaz because he was a kin and by the law Boaz was to take Ruth.
Proverbs 18:22 ~ "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD."
The man is to find a wife... He is to pursue/initiate so the woman can stay in her God-ordained role of being discreet, a meek and quiet spirit as well as under her father's headship. Let the man speak, let the man ask for he will be your leader. Allow God to lead him to pursue you so your future husband can lead you into your marriage.
As well to add to this topic I must clearly state how as Christians we are commanded to not initiate or accept a relationship with a non-believer. Even though in the context of the chapter it is not talking about marriage, but all relationships such as friendships.
2 Corinthians 6:14 ~ "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"
Now to more specific Scripture on the matter...
Deuteronomy 7:3 ~ "Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son."
Obviously this wasn't for racist reasons, (see my article on Racism) but for reasons of the believing spouse putting a stumbling-block before themselves by marrying a non-believer that worship idols and influences the believer to worship such idols/partaking in sin.
1 Corinthians 7:39 ~ "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord."
A woman can marry who she wants as long as he is in the Lord. Conditions. As a woman is to have headship that submits himself under Christ. Even a woman entering into a new relationship with someone that is a lukewarm believer lacking maturity, I would advice going slow with caution especially for women as it is harder for a woman to convict a man while staying in Biblical order, (1 Peter 3).
Do not let love blind you or fear of hurting the person, because furthering things longer will only bring more hurt as feelings kindle. You have to honestly consider if the lukewarm believer has an open heart to the narrow road or a hard heart. As for non-believers, do not even date until sincere conversion. Some may even lie about converting, or kindle hopes that they may convert if you will date them. Do not be fooled. Missionary dating can be dangerous so go very slow to be sure to guard your heart and purity before the Lord.
A man I would give the same advice, even though a righteous man can lead her to the narrow road by teaching and washing her in the word, (Ephesians 5:26). He as well cannot let love or lust blind him. He must be cautious to not be seduced by a lukewarm woman who will dig her heels in when it comes to applying submission in the marriage. There are many Delilah-like women out there that have evil spirits seeking to tear down a man of God.
Proverbs 6:26-27 ~ "26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. 27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?"
Proverbs 12:4 ~ "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."
Proverbs 19:13 ~ "A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping."
Proverbs 30:20 ~ "Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness."
Keep it holy, follow the Bible and seek courtship. So until next time...
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
Among the different roles assigned to men and women in the Bible, men are assigned the role of leadership in the church and home so why shouldn't the man lead the woman into courtship? It is the creation order that the man was first formed, that he is the leader/guide of the woman. Why should he not be the one to initiate a relationship? Allowing his woman of interest to remain in her role of being discreet, (Genesis 2, 1 Corinthians 11:7-9, Ephesians 5).
The man is to approach the woman, her father/guardian out of respect if he may court the man's daughter. We see this example Biblically...
God gave Eve to Adam. (Genesis 2)
Bethuel gave Rebekah to Isaac. (Genesis 24)
Laban gave Leah and Rachel to Jacob. (Genesis 29)
Pharaoh gave Asenath to Joseph. (Genesis 41:45)
Reuel gave Zipporah to Moses. (Exodus 2:21)
Naomi gave Ruth to Boaz. (Ruth 3:1-5)
Ruth is sometimes used as an example where Ruth pursued after Boaz, but Naomi told Ruth to go to Boaz because he was a kin and by the law Boaz was to take Ruth.
Proverbs 18:22 ~ "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD."
The man is to find a wife... He is to pursue/initiate so the woman can stay in her God-ordained role of being discreet, a meek and quiet spirit as well as under her father's headship. Let the man speak, let the man ask for he will be your leader. Allow God to lead him to pursue you so your future husband can lead you into your marriage.
As well to add to this topic I must clearly state how as Christians we are commanded to not initiate or accept a relationship with a non-believer. Even though in the context of the chapter it is not talking about marriage, but all relationships such as friendships.
2 Corinthians 6:14 ~ "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"
Now to more specific Scripture on the matter...
Deuteronomy 7:3 ~ "Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son."
Obviously this wasn't for racist reasons, (see my article on Racism) but for reasons of the believing spouse putting a stumbling-block before themselves by marrying a non-believer that worship idols and influences the believer to worship such idols/partaking in sin.
1 Corinthians 7:39 ~ "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord."
A woman can marry who she wants as long as he is in the Lord. Conditions. As a woman is to have headship that submits himself under Christ. Even a woman entering into a new relationship with someone that is a lukewarm believer lacking maturity, I would advice going slow with caution especially for women as it is harder for a woman to convict a man while staying in Biblical order, (1 Peter 3).
Do not let love blind you or fear of hurting the person, because furthering things longer will only bring more hurt as feelings kindle. You have to honestly consider if the lukewarm believer has an open heart to the narrow road or a hard heart. As for non-believers, do not even date until sincere conversion. Some may even lie about converting, or kindle hopes that they may convert if you will date them. Do not be fooled. Missionary dating can be dangerous so go very slow to be sure to guard your heart and purity before the Lord.
A man I would give the same advice, even though a righteous man can lead her to the narrow road by teaching and washing her in the word, (Ephesians 5:26). He as well cannot let love or lust blind him. He must be cautious to not be seduced by a lukewarm woman who will dig her heels in when it comes to applying submission in the marriage. There are many Delilah-like women out there that have evil spirits seeking to tear down a man of God.
Proverbs 6:26-27 ~ "26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. 27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?"
Proverbs 12:4 ~ "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."
Proverbs 19:13 ~ "A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping."
Proverbs 30:20 ~ "Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness."
Keep it holy, follow the Bible and seek courtship. So until next time...
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
GODLY JEALOUSY & KINDLED HEARTS......
I've come to a revelation, my husband always made this point, that I always seen as kind of extreme or silly, but over time the Lord has confirmed it to me as I have prayed about it and I’ve finally sat down to write about it. I am so thankful for my husband as my headship.
Obviously, I already agree that a woman should never counsel a man, but my husband has shown me that a man shouldn't counsel a woman either. Now let me clarify... We have to have a man as the head of the church; a bishop/a pastor/a shepherd...
1 Timothy 3:1-5 ~ "1 This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; 4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; 5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)"
Paul says that a pastor has to be the husband of one wife because a pastor will be in a situation where a woman needs counsel. However, some great men of God are single, widowed or divorced because of a rebellious wife that refused to submit when her husband came to the Lord.
Sadly, as my husband points out when a pastor counsels a woman one-on-one, feelings from either gender can possibly develop, so why it is not wise to have opposite genders being counseled one-on-one alone. It should be a group setting, other church elders present. This is for safety. This is wisdom.
1 Corinthians 14:35 ~ "And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."
When a pastor counsels a woman, he should have her ask her husband first. And if a woman is seeking counsel from her pastor because of her husband is unable to give an answer, her husband should ask the pastor on her behalf or at least have her husband present when she asks her pastor. There shouldn’t be one-on-one counsel between a woman and a man.
1 Thessalonians 5:22 ~ "Abstain from all appearance of evil."
This is because to have no stumbling blocks, no love kindled, even if accidental or non-intentional. A woman is not to awaken love in a man's heart with no intention of loving him or establishing a relationship. Song of Solomon 8:4.
Same goes for a man, a man is not to awaken love in a woman's heart with no intention of loving her or establishing a relationship. Awakening love in another's heart is easy, and why it is to be avoided with all costs. Why a single man and single woman shouldn't talk one-one-one unless it is with intention of a relationship, which is to be made clear to one another of being exclusive and going through the courting process.
Of course a married woman and a married man shouldn't talk one-on-one without each of their own partners present, the husband of the woman, and the wife of the man should always be present. In a marriage, each partner should know where the other is at all times. A man should not be counseling a woman one-on-one, it should be with his wife present and if he is single it should be in the presence of an assistant pastor or elder woman of the church.
Titus 2:3-5 ~ "3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."
Women teach women, men teach men. The pastor being public with other trusted elders when counseling a woman so that no love is kindled and no appearance of evil is given. Leaving no room for the enemy to bring anyone astray in lust or hurt.
I thank my husband for teaching me this, as well as fellow righteous brothers and sisters who furthered the conviction because of asking me to add their spouse as a friend on social media, brothers and sisters that message me with their spouse's in the conversation. I apply this conviction, if you are a brother and I message you, my husband is in the conversation with us, so please don’t mind and understand why. I am truly convicted this is Godly order; we must always go the extra mile for holiness.
It’s not that, “Oh my spouse trusts me in a conversation alone with the opposite gender.” It’s not about that, I trust my husband and my husband trusts me… This is about establishing respect and involvement, not acting as individuals, but acting as one flesh. The husband as the head and the woman as the body is Biblical order.
We need to understand that there is godly jealousy and ungodly jealousy. Ungodly jealousy crosses the line into paranoid-possessiveness of irrational fear, which neither my husband nor I have. To point out Numbers 5:14, nonetheless we must prove our innocence to our partner, but may we never have to have our partner question our faithfulness. In a healthy marriage, neither partner has to question the other's faithfulness. As my husband and I trust each other and have confidence with one another. My husband is from the Philippines where this order of communication etiquette has not yet been lost like it has here in 21st Century America. As Christians, may we bring back this moral standard.
Even our God is a jealous God...
Exodus 34:14 ~ "For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:"
2 Corinthians 11:2 ~ "For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ."
Protecting our marriage from any evil that tries to put it asunder because there are sexually immoral people out there that will try to be house-wreckers. Guard your marriage from physical, emotional and spiritual wickedness. And guard your purity if you are a single brother or sister. The Lord will bless you this much more if you go the extra mile.
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
Obviously, I already agree that a woman should never counsel a man, but my husband has shown me that a man shouldn't counsel a woman either. Now let me clarify... We have to have a man as the head of the church; a bishop/a pastor/a shepherd...
1 Timothy 3:1-5 ~ "1 This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; 4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; 5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)"
Paul says that a pastor has to be the husband of one wife because a pastor will be in a situation where a woman needs counsel. However, some great men of God are single, widowed or divorced because of a rebellious wife that refused to submit when her husband came to the Lord.
Sadly, as my husband points out when a pastor counsels a woman one-on-one, feelings from either gender can possibly develop, so why it is not wise to have opposite genders being counseled one-on-one alone. It should be a group setting, other church elders present. This is for safety. This is wisdom.
1 Corinthians 14:35 ~ "And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."
When a pastor counsels a woman, he should have her ask her husband first. And if a woman is seeking counsel from her pastor because of her husband is unable to give an answer, her husband should ask the pastor on her behalf or at least have her husband present when she asks her pastor. There shouldn’t be one-on-one counsel between a woman and a man.
1 Thessalonians 5:22 ~ "Abstain from all appearance of evil."
This is because to have no stumbling blocks, no love kindled, even if accidental or non-intentional. A woman is not to awaken love in a man's heart with no intention of loving him or establishing a relationship. Song of Solomon 8:4.
Same goes for a man, a man is not to awaken love in a woman's heart with no intention of loving her or establishing a relationship. Awakening love in another's heart is easy, and why it is to be avoided with all costs. Why a single man and single woman shouldn't talk one-one-one unless it is with intention of a relationship, which is to be made clear to one another of being exclusive and going through the courting process.
Of course a married woman and a married man shouldn't talk one-on-one without each of their own partners present, the husband of the woman, and the wife of the man should always be present. In a marriage, each partner should know where the other is at all times. A man should not be counseling a woman one-on-one, it should be with his wife present and if he is single it should be in the presence of an assistant pastor or elder woman of the church.
Titus 2:3-5 ~ "3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."
Women teach women, men teach men. The pastor being public with other trusted elders when counseling a woman so that no love is kindled and no appearance of evil is given. Leaving no room for the enemy to bring anyone astray in lust or hurt.
I thank my husband for teaching me this, as well as fellow righteous brothers and sisters who furthered the conviction because of asking me to add their spouse as a friend on social media, brothers and sisters that message me with their spouse's in the conversation. I apply this conviction, if you are a brother and I message you, my husband is in the conversation with us, so please don’t mind and understand why. I am truly convicted this is Godly order; we must always go the extra mile for holiness.
It’s not that, “Oh my spouse trusts me in a conversation alone with the opposite gender.” It’s not about that, I trust my husband and my husband trusts me… This is about establishing respect and involvement, not acting as individuals, but acting as one flesh. The husband as the head and the woman as the body is Biblical order.
We need to understand that there is godly jealousy and ungodly jealousy. Ungodly jealousy crosses the line into paranoid-possessiveness of irrational fear, which neither my husband nor I have. To point out Numbers 5:14, nonetheless we must prove our innocence to our partner, but may we never have to have our partner question our faithfulness. In a healthy marriage, neither partner has to question the other's faithfulness. As my husband and I trust each other and have confidence with one another. My husband is from the Philippines where this order of communication etiquette has not yet been lost like it has here in 21st Century America. As Christians, may we bring back this moral standard.
Even our God is a jealous God...
Exodus 34:14 ~ "For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:"
2 Corinthians 11:2 ~ "For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ."
Protecting our marriage from any evil that tries to put it asunder because there are sexually immoral people out there that will try to be house-wreckers. Guard your marriage from physical, emotional and spiritual wickedness. And guard your purity if you are a single brother or sister. The Lord will bless you this much more if you go the extra mile.
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
July 28, 2017
SUBMISSION: AN ETERNAL REWARD......
Rewards of submission are eternal, not just earthly and temporal...
We see that submission is a blessing and a great thing once we have come to understanding and application of submission in our lives, but to some women who dwell with husbands who are lukewarm or even non-believing (if she came to conversion after being married) we have to remind ourselves and such sisters that their reward of submitting to their lukewarm or non-believing husband is not his conversion. His conversion is not the reward for submission. Eternal life is.
Submission is a salvation issue that God has ordained to be the testing of the woman’s flesh. That she crucify every part of herself that seeks control and independence.
Don’t get me wrong, a lukewarm/non-believing man coming to salvation by his wife’s conduct with chaste conversation is a beautiful thing and a great reward to the woman to know that her husband has salvation and to dwell peacefully being equally yoked, but if she submits for years and years and years to no avail of her husband surrendering his will to the Lord. What then is her reward?
Our goal as Christians is to help lead as many people to salvation as possible, and for women, 1 Peter 3:1-2 tells us how, as well as 1 Corinthians 7:14-17. But our husband’s have their own will, everyone has their own will and if they will not come to the Lord and you can die on your bed knowing you stayed in your marriage until the end of your life, submitting yourself fully to your husband aligning with 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, Titus 2, Proverbs 31, etc. then enter into eternal life, dear sister. And know that you passed YOUR testing as a woman and know that your reward is eternal. Not just in your earthly marriage that is only for a season until death.
You will be judged according to your deeds. Were you a wife that endured until the end with all submission and honor given to your husband? Or did you cheat in your testing, were you not always submissive, and patient and not praying for God to do a work in your husband? Be honest with yourself as you ask these questions within the corner of your own mind. Examine yourselves this day.
What I notice from a lot of women who are more righteous than their own husbands is that they try to correct and guide their husbands in the ways of righteousness, to end up playing God in their husband’s life. We are not our husband’s headship, God is. 1 Corinthians 11. It is not a woman’s role to lead her husband. It is her job to wait and pray and convict with conduct, not words.
This is a concept that many women of God have yet to grasp. We are to build up our husbands, not nag and tear them down with our words. Proverbs 14:1. Wait on the ways of her husband.
Your husband is your lord, wait for him and serve him as you serve your Heavenly Father. Ephesians 5:22. And wait on your Heavenly Father to work in your husband, if your husband stays in rebellion even though you can say you honestly submitted with all effort and application… Know that your reward for passing your test as a woman of God is eternal, not temporal. Do not see your husband’s conversion as a reward of your submission lest you be discouraged, for eternal life is a reward for your submission as your testing. Do your work and role and may the Lord bless you for such.
Psalm 27:13-14 ~ "13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."
Isaiah 40:31 ~ "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
Romans 2:7 ~ "To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life:"
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
We see that submission is a blessing and a great thing once we have come to understanding and application of submission in our lives, but to some women who dwell with husbands who are lukewarm or even non-believing (if she came to conversion after being married) we have to remind ourselves and such sisters that their reward of submitting to their lukewarm or non-believing husband is not his conversion. His conversion is not the reward for submission. Eternal life is.
Submission is a salvation issue that God has ordained to be the testing of the woman’s flesh. That she crucify every part of herself that seeks control and independence.
Don’t get me wrong, a lukewarm/non-believing man coming to salvation by his wife’s conduct with chaste conversation is a beautiful thing and a great reward to the woman to know that her husband has salvation and to dwell peacefully being equally yoked, but if she submits for years and years and years to no avail of her husband surrendering his will to the Lord. What then is her reward?
Our goal as Christians is to help lead as many people to salvation as possible, and for women, 1 Peter 3:1-2 tells us how, as well as 1 Corinthians 7:14-17. But our husband’s have their own will, everyone has their own will and if they will not come to the Lord and you can die on your bed knowing you stayed in your marriage until the end of your life, submitting yourself fully to your husband aligning with 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, Titus 2, Proverbs 31, etc. then enter into eternal life, dear sister. And know that you passed YOUR testing as a woman and know that your reward is eternal. Not just in your earthly marriage that is only for a season until death.
You will be judged according to your deeds. Were you a wife that endured until the end with all submission and honor given to your husband? Or did you cheat in your testing, were you not always submissive, and patient and not praying for God to do a work in your husband? Be honest with yourself as you ask these questions within the corner of your own mind. Examine yourselves this day.
What I notice from a lot of women who are more righteous than their own husbands is that they try to correct and guide their husbands in the ways of righteousness, to end up playing God in their husband’s life. We are not our husband’s headship, God is. 1 Corinthians 11. It is not a woman’s role to lead her husband. It is her job to wait and pray and convict with conduct, not words.
This is a concept that many women of God have yet to grasp. We are to build up our husbands, not nag and tear them down with our words. Proverbs 14:1. Wait on the ways of her husband.
Your husband is your lord, wait for him and serve him as you serve your Heavenly Father. Ephesians 5:22. And wait on your Heavenly Father to work in your husband, if your husband stays in rebellion even though you can say you honestly submitted with all effort and application… Know that your reward for passing your test as a woman of God is eternal, not temporal. Do not see your husband’s conversion as a reward of your submission lest you be discouraged, for eternal life is a reward for your submission as your testing. Do your work and role and may the Lord bless you for such.
Psalm 27:13-14 ~ "13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."
Isaiah 40:31 ~ "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
Romans 2:7 ~ "To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life:"
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
July 27, 2017
ENCOURAGEMENT OR PATRONIZATION?
Many sisters have themselves fooled, even those who say they practice submission to their husbands. Do not be easily convinced if a woman says, "Yes and Amen" to certain Biblical questions about submission that therefore she is a submitted woman.
The same goes for the brethren, all Christians. As Paris Reidhead said in one of my favorite sermons...
"And so it wasn't long until it got to our generation, where the whole plan of salvation was to give intellectual assent to a few statements of doctrine. And a person was considered a Christian because he could say, "Ah hah" at four or five places that he was asked. If he knew where to say "Ah hah", someone would pat him on the back, shake his hand, smile broadly, and say, "Brother, you're saved!" so it had gotten down to the place where salvation was nothing more than an assent to a scheme or a formula, and the end of this was that salvation was the happiness of man, because humanism has penetrated." -Ten Shekels And A Shirt
Just as Humanism has penetrated The Church, Feminism has also penetrated The Church. Aren't we supposed to test the spirits? 1 John 4:1. Aren't we to judge them by their fruit/actions? Matthew 7:16.
Why I say... Beware of covert rebellious women! Even if this rebellious woman is your own self. As I speak to my own shame I have been guilty before of trying to be my husband's conscience. And he lives righteously! Even if I fail my test as a wife, my prayer for you dear sister reading this would be that you would succeed in your test. 2 Peter 1:10, 2 Timothy 4:7-8, 1 Corinthians 9:27. May we stand in agreement upon God's standards for us as wives for we have no excuse.
I know that even though women are the weaker vessel spiritually, there are Christian couples where the wife has come to the narrow road of sanctification while her husband remains spiritually indifferent; whether he be lukewarm or outright sinful. This variant doesn't really matter, as I am speaking to sisters to correct themselves of patronization of their man whether he be lukewarm or outright sinful. It doesn't matter. He is disobedient either way before God. Your husband may even be living righteously and works hard, but you still persist to patronize him.
Many women who do genuinely come out of lukewarmness to repentance and sanctification by grace are quickly once again snared up by their flesh and spiritual superficiality. A woman soon becomes puffed up by pride and superiority. She may not even realize it. She can say, "Yes and Amen" to submission in everything to her husband, yet she subtly undermines him.
She honestly thinks she is helping him. After all, she is his help meet. That is what you tell yourself, don't you? You justify your own self by your own genuine concern for your husband's salvation. I do not question your concern. I know you love your husband. I sympathize, I truly do, but please hear me when I tell you that you are chasing your own tail and you are chasing your husband away. Your greatest heart's desire is to have your husband be a righteous, zealous man of God that leads you and your children.
I have seen so many women in tears for their husband's salvation and those with genuine urgency. When people come to the narrow road... They quickly learn that "Thou shall not judge" is a cop out taken out of context of Matthew 7:1-5 and that warning a sinner of their sin is true love. Ezekiel 3:18-19. Rebuke is love. Proverbs 27:5. It is the love we are to have towards our neighbor. Leviticus 19:17-18. So wives try to love their husbands with rebuke. This is where things go wrong.
I do not take away from this glorious and timeless truth that rebuke is love. What I want to bring to light though, is the women who suffer and are being led astray by this truth being twisted. These women are souls who are growing, they understand sanctification and they have spiritual eyes to see their husband's lukewarmness. What these women cannot see though because they are the weaker vessel is that in her unbridled zeal she goes forth and takes the role of spiritual headship in her home. This is the snare of the devil.
After all, Satan convinced Eve to chase after bettering her own self spiritually and she then went to convince her husband Adam.
She thinks she is helping her husband by "encouraging" him to be better. She thinks she is "convicting" him and planting seeds by her subtle rebuke. She thinks she is being his help meet by "motivating" him to read his Bible more, to pray more, worship more, attend church, etc. etc. etc. She probably even says how she wants him to lead her and their children.
Please do not continue to fool yourself. You are not loving your husband with your subtle rebuke. You are not convicting him. You cannot force him to believe and be disciplined. You are and will end up chasing him away. Stop right now from thinking that him leaving is you being hated for Christ's sake. Matthew 10:22.
You can not be hated for Christ's sake if you haven't done God's will by being you a "spiritual" nagging wife. You are not encouraging him to be better; you are tearing your husband down. Instead of his trusted wife... Proverbs 31:11-12. You are his greatest critic. You are belittling him. You are patronizing him.
1 Peter 3:1-2 ~ "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."
Why do you effortlessly try and toil to win your husband to salvation by your words? Fear the Lord. Proverbs 8:13. He has directed your steps and told you what to do to win your husband. Yet you doubt and do not trust God, ye of little faith.
Because of your lack of faith you try to take matters into your own hands. You are trying to take control... Even worse in all seriousness you are trying to take over God's role and be your husband's headship. You're trying to be your husband's conscience. You're trying to be his Holy Ghost.
Who in the Bible wanted the role of the Most High? Satan Himself. Isaiah 14:14. The father of lies... The father of rebellion. Do not follow in the footsteps of rebellion. Follow the footsteps of your Heavenly Father Who's feet were pierced for you.
You are making your husband feel worthless, hopeless, discouraged, unmotivated, not good enough, not needed, not appreciated, out of place, insecure, inept, incompetent, etc. etc. etc. I do not justify his own sin/lukewarmness, but sister, you need to love your husband how God has instructed you as a wife to love him. If you expect your husband to be the husband God wants him to be than I suggest you stop being a hypocrite and start being the wife God wants you to be.
Stop patronizing and attacking your man's ego. A man will do great things with a wife that supports and respects him. Build up your husband. That is how you are a great help meet and have faith God will do the rest. John 16:8, 1 Corinthians 3:6.
You plant seeds by your conduct, not your rebukes. You're husband is lukewarm, but he is not stupid. He has seen your spiritual growth and he doesn't need to be intimidated by you anymore than he already is. Do not lose your humility! Practice fruits of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23. Stop patronizing and deceiving yourself that your patronization is encouragement. A wife's encouragement is not tearing down! It is building up!
Proverbs 14:1 ~ "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands."
Are you a wise woman or a fool? Repent! You are tearing down your husband with what you think is spiritual encouragement for him to be better. You make him not even want to try because you patronize and look down on him with your spiritual superiority that you understand sanctification and Bible verses and you pray a lot and worship a lot all while he works overtime to provide for you and your children. Then you get caught up in personal convictions of spiritual superficiality to make yourself feel even more superior. Repent of your pride.
It's embarrassing and shameful for a woman to be stronger than her husband. Don't think that it is sexist for your husband to feel this way. If you think so that proves your underlining feminism that is still in your heart. Deborah was a judge and this was to the shame of the men of Israel. What did Deborah do? She built up the men! Not nag them to death.
"Why don't you ever read your Bible to teach me and the children?"
"You're supposed to be my headship."
"You should worship and pray more, honey."
"You used to be zealous or at least I thought you wanted to serve God."
"Why don't you spend more time with God, me and the children? Don't love money. It doesn't matter."
"We should forsake everything and become missionaries by faith."
"Have you ever thought about loving me spiritually instead of just carnally with the flesh and temporal things? I'm thirsty for spiritual things!"
"I've decided to give up makeup, jewelry, everything to please God. How has your walk with the Lord been doing?
"You never talk about God with me."
"Why won't you pray or read with me? I want you to lead us. The Bible says you're supposed to lead me."
"It's time for church. We'll be late if you don't get dressed. You're supposed to be zealous."
Let me convict you... Have you said or thought these things? I ask because if you have said them you really have been tearing down your husband. If you have thought them, I worry that your husband notices your prideful look of how you know better than he does. You disrespect him by looking down on him, even if just in your heart. You are what you are by grace, so I pray you not forget that. 1 Corinthians 15:10. Be humbled in fear that you are blaspheming God by trying to do God's role in your husband's life. Titus 2:5.
Please stop undermining your husband. You know better than to usurp authority in correcting him. Trying to change him. Trying to control him. You are not his headship.
1 Timothy 2:12 ~ "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."
1 Corinthians 11:3 ~ "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."
Your prayers for your husband are in vain if you are not submitting, referencing and truly encouraging your husband by building him in all appreciation of him as your man. I say this all in love, dear sisters. I pray you apply yourself.
Proverbs 11:22 ~ "As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion."
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
The same goes for the brethren, all Christians. As Paris Reidhead said in one of my favorite sermons...
"And so it wasn't long until it got to our generation, where the whole plan of salvation was to give intellectual assent to a few statements of doctrine. And a person was considered a Christian because he could say, "Ah hah" at four or five places that he was asked. If he knew where to say "Ah hah", someone would pat him on the back, shake his hand, smile broadly, and say, "Brother, you're saved!" so it had gotten down to the place where salvation was nothing more than an assent to a scheme or a formula, and the end of this was that salvation was the happiness of man, because humanism has penetrated." -Ten Shekels And A Shirt
Just as Humanism has penetrated The Church, Feminism has also penetrated The Church. Aren't we supposed to test the spirits? 1 John 4:1. Aren't we to judge them by their fruit/actions? Matthew 7:16.
Why I say... Beware of covert rebellious women! Even if this rebellious woman is your own self. As I speak to my own shame I have been guilty before of trying to be my husband's conscience. And he lives righteously! Even if I fail my test as a wife, my prayer for you dear sister reading this would be that you would succeed in your test. 2 Peter 1:10, 2 Timothy 4:7-8, 1 Corinthians 9:27. May we stand in agreement upon God's standards for us as wives for we have no excuse.
I know that even though women are the weaker vessel spiritually, there are Christian couples where the wife has come to the narrow road of sanctification while her husband remains spiritually indifferent; whether he be lukewarm or outright sinful. This variant doesn't really matter, as I am speaking to sisters to correct themselves of patronization of their man whether he be lukewarm or outright sinful. It doesn't matter. He is disobedient either way before God. Your husband may even be living righteously and works hard, but you still persist to patronize him.
Many women who do genuinely come out of lukewarmness to repentance and sanctification by grace are quickly once again snared up by their flesh and spiritual superficiality. A woman soon becomes puffed up by pride and superiority. She may not even realize it. She can say, "Yes and Amen" to submission in everything to her husband, yet she subtly undermines him.
She honestly thinks she is helping him. After all, she is his help meet. That is what you tell yourself, don't you? You justify your own self by your own genuine concern for your husband's salvation. I do not question your concern. I know you love your husband. I sympathize, I truly do, but please hear me when I tell you that you are chasing your own tail and you are chasing your husband away. Your greatest heart's desire is to have your husband be a righteous, zealous man of God that leads you and your children.
I have seen so many women in tears for their husband's salvation and those with genuine urgency. When people come to the narrow road... They quickly learn that "Thou shall not judge" is a cop out taken out of context of Matthew 7:1-5 and that warning a sinner of their sin is true love. Ezekiel 3:18-19. Rebuke is love. Proverbs 27:5. It is the love we are to have towards our neighbor. Leviticus 19:17-18. So wives try to love their husbands with rebuke. This is where things go wrong.
I do not take away from this glorious and timeless truth that rebuke is love. What I want to bring to light though, is the women who suffer and are being led astray by this truth being twisted. These women are souls who are growing, they understand sanctification and they have spiritual eyes to see their husband's lukewarmness. What these women cannot see though because they are the weaker vessel is that in her unbridled zeal she goes forth and takes the role of spiritual headship in her home. This is the snare of the devil.
After all, Satan convinced Eve to chase after bettering her own self spiritually and she then went to convince her husband Adam.
She thinks she is helping her husband by "encouraging" him to be better. She thinks she is "convicting" him and planting seeds by her subtle rebuke. She thinks she is being his help meet by "motivating" him to read his Bible more, to pray more, worship more, attend church, etc. etc. etc. She probably even says how she wants him to lead her and their children.
Please do not continue to fool yourself. You are not loving your husband with your subtle rebuke. You are not convicting him. You cannot force him to believe and be disciplined. You are and will end up chasing him away. Stop right now from thinking that him leaving is you being hated for Christ's sake. Matthew 10:22.
You can not be hated for Christ's sake if you haven't done God's will by being you a "spiritual" nagging wife. You are not encouraging him to be better; you are tearing your husband down. Instead of his trusted wife... Proverbs 31:11-12. You are his greatest critic. You are belittling him. You are patronizing him.
1 Peter 3:1-2 ~ "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."
Why do you effortlessly try and toil to win your husband to salvation by your words? Fear the Lord. Proverbs 8:13. He has directed your steps and told you what to do to win your husband. Yet you doubt and do not trust God, ye of little faith.
Because of your lack of faith you try to take matters into your own hands. You are trying to take control... Even worse in all seriousness you are trying to take over God's role and be your husband's headship. You're trying to be your husband's conscience. You're trying to be his Holy Ghost.
Who in the Bible wanted the role of the Most High? Satan Himself. Isaiah 14:14. The father of lies... The father of rebellion. Do not follow in the footsteps of rebellion. Follow the footsteps of your Heavenly Father Who's feet were pierced for you.
You are making your husband feel worthless, hopeless, discouraged, unmotivated, not good enough, not needed, not appreciated, out of place, insecure, inept, incompetent, etc. etc. etc. I do not justify his own sin/lukewarmness, but sister, you need to love your husband how God has instructed you as a wife to love him. If you expect your husband to be the husband God wants him to be than I suggest you stop being a hypocrite and start being the wife God wants you to be.
Stop patronizing and attacking your man's ego. A man will do great things with a wife that supports and respects him. Build up your husband. That is how you are a great help meet and have faith God will do the rest. John 16:8, 1 Corinthians 3:6.
You plant seeds by your conduct, not your rebukes. You're husband is lukewarm, but he is not stupid. He has seen your spiritual growth and he doesn't need to be intimidated by you anymore than he already is. Do not lose your humility! Practice fruits of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23. Stop patronizing and deceiving yourself that your patronization is encouragement. A wife's encouragement is not tearing down! It is building up!
Proverbs 14:1 ~ "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands."
Are you a wise woman or a fool? Repent! You are tearing down your husband with what you think is spiritual encouragement for him to be better. You make him not even want to try because you patronize and look down on him with your spiritual superiority that you understand sanctification and Bible verses and you pray a lot and worship a lot all while he works overtime to provide for you and your children. Then you get caught up in personal convictions of spiritual superficiality to make yourself feel even more superior. Repent of your pride.
It's embarrassing and shameful for a woman to be stronger than her husband. Don't think that it is sexist for your husband to feel this way. If you think so that proves your underlining feminism that is still in your heart. Deborah was a judge and this was to the shame of the men of Israel. What did Deborah do? She built up the men! Not nag them to death.
"Why don't you ever read your Bible to teach me and the children?"
"You're supposed to be my headship."
"You should worship and pray more, honey."
"You used to be zealous or at least I thought you wanted to serve God."
"Why don't you spend more time with God, me and the children? Don't love money. It doesn't matter."
"We should forsake everything and become missionaries by faith."
"Have you ever thought about loving me spiritually instead of just carnally with the flesh and temporal things? I'm thirsty for spiritual things!"
"I've decided to give up makeup, jewelry, everything to please God. How has your walk with the Lord been doing?
"You never talk about God with me."
"Why won't you pray or read with me? I want you to lead us. The Bible says you're supposed to lead me."
"It's time for church. We'll be late if you don't get dressed. You're supposed to be zealous."
Let me convict you... Have you said or thought these things? I ask because if you have said them you really have been tearing down your husband. If you have thought them, I worry that your husband notices your prideful look of how you know better than he does. You disrespect him by looking down on him, even if just in your heart. You are what you are by grace, so I pray you not forget that. 1 Corinthians 15:10. Be humbled in fear that you are blaspheming God by trying to do God's role in your husband's life. Titus 2:5.
Please stop undermining your husband. You know better than to usurp authority in correcting him. Trying to change him. Trying to control him. You are not his headship.
1 Timothy 2:12 ~ "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."
1 Corinthians 11:3 ~ "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."
Your prayers for your husband are in vain if you are not submitting, referencing and truly encouraging your husband by building him in all appreciation of him as your man. I say this all in love, dear sisters. I pray you apply yourself.
Proverbs 11:22 ~ "As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion."
Be blessed & stay sanctified,
July 26, 2017
BUILDING HIM UP WITH HER TONE......
Proverbs 14:1 ~ "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands."
To my sisters who are married, plan to marry, or are courting, I’d like to give a little teaching and advice…
As women, we have a lot of power in our hands to make our household harmonious or toxic… Proverbs 31:11 or Proverbs 25:24. Encouraging our men or emasculating our men, that wicked Genesis 3:16 nature to control that needs to be crucified to be a Godly woman.
It is a daily dying to be crucified to our flesh. Galatians 2:20-21. To be submissive, to be meek, to be discreet, to be quiet, to be modest, but I assure you, if you just bear through the pain of being crucified and accept the verses about women’s submission you will eventually become dead, completely dead to the flesh. Romans 6. Transformed into a new creature. 2 Corinthians 5:7.
It is so important that we daily evaluate our own hearts… Especially our speech as women, speech is one of the most important things, dear sisters. Why? Always in the verses pertaining to women it references our speech… A meek and quiet spirit. Why is this? We as women were made to cater to our husband’s emotional needs, our children’s emotional needs.
This is why women are emotional creatures. It is a weakness to deal with logical/spiritual things and why we are called the weaker vessel. 1 Peter 3:7. Though it is also our strength… A good strength if used to encourage our husbands and not emasculate them.
A meek and quiet spirit… Be silent… Be submissive… Crushing to read, isn’t it? It is without Godly understanding to why this is. You may feel voiceless; yet know that it takes strength to remain silent. Self-control to hold the tongue is a hard thing to do…
James 3:5-6 ~ "5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell."
James 3 is talking to both men and women of the faith… However, I encourage you ladies to read it as it is very convicting of how much strife can be created by our tongues, and how much harmony our home can have if we just can stop, wait, have the self-control to hold our tongue and really ask ourselves… “Will this issue matter tomorrow? Will it matter a week from now? Will it matter a month from now?”
All petty issues that we are just whined up about in the moment of our flesh can sometimes come out of our mouths so quickly to talk back to our husbands, as women we can speak passionately, even if we are not angry, our emotions are very strong even over the smallest of matters… This is good, but it also can be bad because from a man’s view we can easily be perceived as disrespectful which creates a misunderstanding.
When you are speaking to your husband you must, must, must set your tone to be engulfed with respect and honor. Men are to be protectors so they can be easily set to go into a fight or flight mode if they feel attacked or disrespected… It makes it very difficult for a man to listen to you when your tone is not engulfed with honor and respect, and so he doesn’t hear you and then you are angry for him not listening to you. Toxic cycle.
Make sure you do not have a nagging or strong tone. Of course a man must learn to be slow to anger, but everything has to start somewhere. Communication is key, but communication with the wrong tone can destroy marriages quickly. Do not allow the enemy or your own flesh put your marriage asunder. Matthew 19:6. Be the first to take action.
Again, women’s emotions are much more intense and complex than a man’s emotions are. You never want to send your husband’s mind into a fight or flight mentality where he feels he needs to defend himself, his honor. You want him to trust in you that you are only out to encourage him and not emasculate him.
You may not use disrespectful words and you may not think your tone is disrespectful, you may think you are just being passionate and headstrong… Sadly feminism has taught women to speak this way along with the underlining Genesis 3:16 nature so you must train yourself sisters to the way God meant us to be… A helpmeet. Genesis 2:18.
Men interrupt things differently, and they are looking for the helpmeet that God ordained for them. Fulfill this role, sisters. This is how you can keep your marriage harmonious. Be the bigger person; take the first step towards healing in your marriage. A meek, quiet, respectful, encouraging tone is a huge key when talking to your man.
Proverbs 31:11-12 ~ "11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."
Proverbs 31:26 ~ "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
Be blessed and stay sanctified,
To my sisters who are married, plan to marry, or are courting, I’d like to give a little teaching and advice…
As women, we have a lot of power in our hands to make our household harmonious or toxic… Proverbs 31:11 or Proverbs 25:24. Encouraging our men or emasculating our men, that wicked Genesis 3:16 nature to control that needs to be crucified to be a Godly woman.
It is a daily dying to be crucified to our flesh. Galatians 2:20-21. To be submissive, to be meek, to be discreet, to be quiet, to be modest, but I assure you, if you just bear through the pain of being crucified and accept the verses about women’s submission you will eventually become dead, completely dead to the flesh. Romans 6. Transformed into a new creature. 2 Corinthians 5:7.
It is so important that we daily evaluate our own hearts… Especially our speech as women, speech is one of the most important things, dear sisters. Why? Always in the verses pertaining to women it references our speech… A meek and quiet spirit. Why is this? We as women were made to cater to our husband’s emotional needs, our children’s emotional needs.
This is why women are emotional creatures. It is a weakness to deal with logical/spiritual things and why we are called the weaker vessel. 1 Peter 3:7. Though it is also our strength… A good strength if used to encourage our husbands and not emasculate them.
A meek and quiet spirit… Be silent… Be submissive… Crushing to read, isn’t it? It is without Godly understanding to why this is. You may feel voiceless; yet know that it takes strength to remain silent. Self-control to hold the tongue is a hard thing to do…
James 3:5-6 ~ "5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell."
James 3 is talking to both men and women of the faith… However, I encourage you ladies to read it as it is very convicting of how much strife can be created by our tongues, and how much harmony our home can have if we just can stop, wait, have the self-control to hold our tongue and really ask ourselves… “Will this issue matter tomorrow? Will it matter a week from now? Will it matter a month from now?”
All petty issues that we are just whined up about in the moment of our flesh can sometimes come out of our mouths so quickly to talk back to our husbands, as women we can speak passionately, even if we are not angry, our emotions are very strong even over the smallest of matters… This is good, but it also can be bad because from a man’s view we can easily be perceived as disrespectful which creates a misunderstanding.
When you are speaking to your husband you must, must, must set your tone to be engulfed with respect and honor. Men are to be protectors so they can be easily set to go into a fight or flight mode if they feel attacked or disrespected… It makes it very difficult for a man to listen to you when your tone is not engulfed with honor and respect, and so he doesn’t hear you and then you are angry for him not listening to you. Toxic cycle.
Make sure you do not have a nagging or strong tone. Of course a man must learn to be slow to anger, but everything has to start somewhere. Communication is key, but communication with the wrong tone can destroy marriages quickly. Do not allow the enemy or your own flesh put your marriage asunder. Matthew 19:6. Be the first to take action.
Again, women’s emotions are much more intense and complex than a man’s emotions are. You never want to send your husband’s mind into a fight or flight mentality where he feels he needs to defend himself, his honor. You want him to trust in you that you are only out to encourage him and not emasculate him.
You may not use disrespectful words and you may not think your tone is disrespectful, you may think you are just being passionate and headstrong… Sadly feminism has taught women to speak this way along with the underlining Genesis 3:16 nature so you must train yourself sisters to the way God meant us to be… A helpmeet. Genesis 2:18.
Men interrupt things differently, and they are looking for the helpmeet that God ordained for them. Fulfill this role, sisters. This is how you can keep your marriage harmonious. Be the bigger person; take the first step towards healing in your marriage. A meek, quiet, respectful, encouraging tone is a huge key when talking to your man.
Proverbs 31:11-12 ~ "11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."
Proverbs 31:26 ~ "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
Be blessed and stay sanctified,
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