Proverbs 14:1 ~ "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands."
To my sisters who are married, plan to marry, or are courting, I’d like to give a little teaching and advice…
As women, we have a lot of power in our hands to make our household harmonious or toxic… Proverbs 31:11 or Proverbs 25:24. Encouraging our men or emasculating our men, that wicked Genesis 3:16 nature to control that needs to be crucified to be a Godly woman.
It is a daily dying to be crucified to our flesh. Galatians 2:20-21. To be submissive, to be meek, to be discreet, to be quiet, to be modest, but I assure you, if you just bear through the pain of being crucified and accept the verses about women’s submission you will eventually become dead, completely dead to the flesh. Romans 6. Transformed into a new creature. 2 Corinthians 5:7.
It is so important that we daily evaluate our own hearts… Especially our speech as women, speech is one of the most important things, dear sisters. Why? Always in the verses pertaining to women it references our speech… A meek and quiet spirit. Why is this? We as women were made to cater to our husband’s emotional needs, our children’s emotional needs.
This is why women are emotional creatures. It is a weakness to deal with logical/spiritual things and why we are called the weaker vessel. 1 Peter 3:7. Though it is also our strength… A good strength if used to encourage our husbands and not emasculate them.
A meek and quiet spirit… Be silent… Be submissive… Crushing to read, isn’t it? It is without Godly understanding to why this is. You may feel voiceless; yet know that it takes strength to remain silent. Self-control to hold the tongue is a hard thing to do…
James 3:5-6 ~ "5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell."
James 3 is talking to both men and women of the faith… However, I encourage you ladies to read it as it is very convicting of how much strife can be created by our tongues, and how much harmony our home can have if we just can stop, wait, have the self-control to hold our tongue and really ask ourselves… “Will this issue matter tomorrow? Will it matter a week from now? Will it matter a month from now?”
All petty issues that we are just whined up about in the moment of our flesh can sometimes come out of our mouths so quickly to talk back to our husbands, as women we can speak passionately, even if we are not angry, our emotions are very strong even over the smallest of matters… This is good, but it also can be bad because from a man’s view we can easily be perceived as disrespectful which creates a misunderstanding.
When you are speaking to your husband you must, must, must set your tone to be engulfed with respect and honor. Men are to be protectors so they can be easily set to go into a fight or flight mode if they feel attacked or disrespected… It makes it very difficult for a man to listen to you when your tone is not engulfed with honor and respect, and so he doesn’t hear you and then you are angry for him not listening to you. Toxic cycle.
Make sure you do not have a nagging or strong tone. Of course a man must learn to be slow to anger, but everything has to start somewhere. Communication is key, but communication with the wrong tone can destroy marriages quickly. Do not allow the enemy or your own flesh put your marriage asunder. Matthew 19:6. Be the first to take action.
Again, women’s emotions are much more intense and complex than a man’s emotions are. You never want to send your husband’s mind into a fight or flight mentality where he feels he needs to defend himself, his honor. You want him to trust in you that you are only out to encourage him and not emasculate him.
You may not use disrespectful words and you may not think your tone is disrespectful, you may think you are just being passionate and headstrong… Sadly feminism has taught women to speak this way along with the underlining Genesis 3:16 nature so you must train yourself sisters to the way God meant us to be… A helpmeet. Genesis 2:18.
Men interrupt things differently, and they are looking for the helpmeet that God ordained for them. Fulfill this role, sisters. This is how you can keep your marriage harmonious. Be the bigger person; take the first step towards healing in your marriage. A meek, quiet, respectful, encouraging tone is a huge key when talking to your man.
Proverbs 31:11-12 ~ "11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."
Proverbs 31:26 ~ "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
Be blessed and stay sanctified,
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